Relationship patterns

Reading the interpersonal chapter, I started reflecting on examples in my life that apply to the rigid complimentary pattern, competitive symmetry, and submissive symmetry. Well of course the best example of a rigid complimentary pattern would be my relationship with my parents. I'm 19 and the oldest of 2 girls, with parents that are great and very supportive, but at the same time, are still familiarizing themselves with their firstborn growing up and moving forward solo in life. So this example is one that is rather difficult to change, and part of it will never change, since they will always be my parents. But at the same time I don't necessarily have resentment, it's just a natural process that I accept and appreciate. A competitive symmetry is something I try to avoid. I can be competitive, but it's not a quality I feel like I need to practice religiously. I appreciate a more laid back, and I honestly don't enjoy being around people who take themselves so seriously, that heaven forbid if they fart in public, the world might spontaneously combust. But for many people it's really hard for them to just relax and laugh at themselves. I've experienced an example of competitive symmetry whether I like it or not with my roommate, who just tends to face everything with a competitive attitude. For her, she was just raised with that mindset, so it's tough sometimes because I know she means well, but I'm sure it's probably hard for her to reprogram herself in that area. It's not like being competitive is a bad trait either, but I feel like when it's in excess it's almost projection or overcompensation for an insecurity. And then submissive symmetry, is annoying and seems to be a quality of people with a lot of self doubt. Theres a difference of being easygoing and indecisive. I think that out of these three patterns, I think the first two are probably the hardest to change based off of my personal experiences, and depending on the circumstance, potentially the most damaging.

Ch 12 Question Numba 2:Rationality premise, perfectibility premise, and mutability premise

I do believe that each of the three premises definitely hold validity. The rationality premise sounds like a broad basis for any organized institution. As it says in the book, America bases many structures of society on this principal, such as democracy, trial by jury, and free enterprise. This principal is huge in the world of academics and science. Although, I disagree in the sense of a few things. One, is that the word "truth" can hold a variety of different meanings to an individual. While an analytical step by step process does answer many questions, the actual concept of finding truth may not necessarily mean using the rationality premise. And secondly, when looking at the example of trial by jury, which is based on this premise and has been found to be a faulty process on so many levels, it's tough for me to "believe in" the rationality premise entirely. The perfectibility process, is a belief that I have definitely seen, and have been taught, when looking into the world of the christian church, whether it's one denomination, or another. To me, when I think of "achieving goodness" I think of the concept of Santa's naughty and nice list. I do believe everyone is born with their imperfections, at the same time everyone has a chance of finding their truth and success in this world, but it's not about winning brownie points. And as I am getting a little too deep at this hour I better wrap up with the last one which is the mutability premise. Yes I know our behaviors are greatly influenced by our environment. Additionally I also agree with the concept of improvement in people takes personal physical and psychological changes. Everyone can visualize changes they may want to make for themselves for months, even years. Like losing weight for example. It's a battle for many, but if they make the concrete lifestyle changes and stretch themselves physically and psychologically, and stick with the changes, they will start to really see healthy and clear changes. Alright I'm done ranting. :)

Ch 12 Question 1: Creatures of Our Culture

I do agree with the statement by Ruth Benidict who believes that people are naturally shaped by their culture. As soon as we are born, we are amidst various environments that influence our understanding of the world. Gradually, concepts of tradition and social practices are integrated with our developing human characteristics. As a result, people who are strictly raised in one set belief system, may continue to live consistently believing what they have been taught by their surrounding environment. Or, they might choose to expand beyond such patterns and traditions. I personally believe it is great to hold onto and respect traditions and beliefs I have been taught my family and surrounding environment. While at the same time, I know that there is so much more to experience and learn so I can continue to expand my personal beliefs and view of the world. By taking the time to listen to and learn about other views and beliefs, it becomes easier to make my own personal assessments about different social aspects. Spending time in different cultural settings also adds a great deal of knowledge. As a result, it allows one to be more aware and appreciative of cultural differences.

Disscusion Q 2: Cultural Nonverbal Communication

A number one nonverbal message that has an interesting variation between many countries and cultures is the smile. Many cultures frown upon smiling (no pun intended). While others naturally incorporate it all the time. Some cultures view smiling as a sign of shallowness. Many asian cultures do their best to suppress as much facial expression as possible. Eye contact is another nonverbal message that varies in many cultures. America sees eye contact as a sign of respect and Arabic cultures see prolonged eye contact as a sign of respect, while Japan, Latin America, Africa, and the Caribbean avoid eye contact out of respect. I can see where people who aren't aware of these cultural differences may take offense if they have an experience where these cultural variations come into play. For example, when thinking about the differences of "touch" which is another form of nonverbal communication,  look at the miscommunication between cultures in America. If an African American man went into a business ran by an asian culture, he might get a little annoyed when the woman puts his change on the counter instead of handing it to him. Although in many asian cultures, people don't usually touch strangers, especially of the opposite sex, the man may see it as another example of discrimination. Therefore, I believe it is so important for people to educate themselves on the differences between cultures.

Question Numba 1: nonverbal miscommunication

I have been wrong numerous times when it came to reading nonverbal messages from a specific person I spent a lot of time with this summer. I had met this individual almost a year ago and only spent a very brief amount of time with him before he left to go back to his home in Hawaii. We had since then spent a great deal of time getting to know each other via phone conversations and connected very well. The funny thing is that although we were able to connect so well, when we were actually reconnected in Hawaii this summer, there was a huge amount of miscommunication between us. This I realized stemmed from our lack of previous nonverbal communication. Our reading of body language was just not on the same page and this would get really frustrating. Now that I am back home we have great communication again. So its kind of weird overall and hard for me to explain but I think the more in tune two people are with each other and more they really pay attention to each other, it is much easier to use nonverbal communication.